to make clumsy attempts to move or regain one's balance
to move or act clumsily and in confusion
to struggle to move or obtain footing
to proceed or act clumsily or ineffectually

The above definitions perfectly describe our lives the past five weeks.  This morning it hit me: I'm floundering...

Everyone needs a break from the routine, but right now I desperately need a routine from which to take that break!!!  Tim's lucky to have a job so I shouldn't be complaining, but he's kind of dangling between two jobs and his hours have been wildly unpredictable and erratic.  Night shifts, day shifts, half shifts, a few hours here, a few hours there, or even fifteen hours, a little of this job, a little of that job...  He seems to have permanent jet lag.  Must be what it's like being married to a doctor!  Things are supposed to settle down soon, when they fill his old temporary spot, and I might believe it when it happens, but even then I'm not so sure...  It's been hard to know when to do what, like preparing a meal.  Chicken and brown rice at 6:00 a.m.?  Well, all right then, but I need some warning and an hour to pull it off!  Yesterday I wound up taking two three hour naps during the daytime.  Honestly, I don't know how much longer we can keep this madness going...

Maybe I needed a good dose of floundering to gain some appreciation for the monotony of routine!

It seems there is a potential new threat to our forests here in Connecticut, especially for the maples, birches, elms and willows, and our governor has designated August "Asian Longhorned Beetle Awareness Month."

"The Asian Longhorned Beetle has no natural enemies and there is no effective insecticide to control it.  Once a tree is attacked by the beetle, the only remedy is to cut it down.  It has the potential for more damage than infestations by gypsy moths, Dutch elm disease and the chestnut blight combined.  It has already been discovered in neighboring states so we must all be extremely vigilant and take the necessary precautions to prevent the spread of an infestation. We risk losing one of our most precious and beautiful resources if this destructive insect takes hold."
~ Gov. Rell

http://www.aphis.usda.gov/plant_health/plant_pest_info/asian_lhb/index.shtml

Gov. Rell didn't mention another insect pest, the hemlock woolly adelgid (Adelges tsugae), also from Asia, which has been slowly and steadily killing so many hemlocks across the state, including a large percentage of the trees surrounding my dad's house.  I was lucky to grow up in th woods, and it's been sad watching this gradual devastation take hold.  It's been years since I've seen the gentle snow-covered hemlocks of my childhood winters.  Just skeletons of these once majestic trees remain standing there, stripped of their beauty, for a few years until they finally fall and finish dying.

When my kids were very young I well remember the gypsy moth infestations.  One of my sons spent a lot of time doing what he considered to be his civic duty, jumping on and squashing the ones crawling on the ground.  We used to have to check and scrape off his sneakers when he came inside.  Not sure how that plague disappeared - it didn't kill the whole tree, just ate all the leaves in a bad year, and the tree could recover next season.  I think the weather affected the gypsy moth caterpillar population explosions.

My grandparents treasured their elm tree, a rare survivor of Dutch elm disease, in their yard out on Cape Cod.  And my dad found a few chestnut tree saplings while visiting relatives in Pennsylvania.  He took one and brought it home and planted it near his bedroom window.  It's as tall as the house now and he loves to tell us over and over again how he came by it.  I'm glad it's there to comfort him in his decline.  We decorated it with flower garlands for Midsummer and brought him outside in his wheelchair to enjoy if for a while.

What would Connecticut be without our forests?  I can't even imagine it.  I hope the vigilance and precautionary measures that Gov. Rell is urging upon us will be followed...

That's the Weather Channel's assessment of the air quality here today.  Add a high pollen count and it looks like another day inside.  Augusts are never easy for me...

But I'm making the best of it.  Yesterday while doing my Reiki I started thinking about a book I bought at the Book Barn a few months ago, Wellsprings of the Deer by Montague Whitsel.  On the cover was a picture of a stag standing in a winter forest with a body of water behind him, no doubt a wellspring, and since Deer is my animal spirit guide I judged the used book by its striking cover and brought it home.  But I've been too busy and overwhelmed to read it.  So yesterday I started reading it between loads of laundry and had a hard time putting it down to get back to work.  I know nothing about Celtic spirituality, but I was delighted to learn that deer represent seekers!  And wellsprings are "symbolic of hidden psychic treasures and the spiritual depths of life itself."  And so I begin my exploration of another segment of my spiritual journey.